ScottMizuno.com

Range

I was at a function yesterday where there was a raffle. Tickets were 5 for $20. I overheard somebody say, “You have a nice range of numbers.”

What the hell does that even mean?

If you have numbers 1, 42, 67, 89, and 112 or a “nice range” of 10-14, your chances of winning are exactly the same.

The Last Time the Warriors Had an All-Star…

The NBA All-Star Reserves were announced today and to nobody’s surprise, the Warriors will once again not have a representative. They don’t even have a representative in the Rising Stars Challenge this season, which was always the highlight of All Star Weekend for Warriors fans (e.g. Jason Richardson, Gilbert Arenas, Monta Ellis, Stephen Curry).

For those that don’t remember (and I don’t blame you if you don’t), the Warriors’ last All-Star was Latrell Sprewell in 1997. 15 years ago. What was going on in the world the last time the Warriors had an All-Star?

• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, Kobe Bryant was an 18-year-old rookie.
• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, Shawn Kemp was still skinny.
• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, the Warriors were playing in San Jose.
• Remember when Michael Jordan hit the “Last Shot” in the NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz? The Warriors’ last All-Star was the year before that.
• Remember the Monica Lewinsky scandal? The Warriors’ last All-Star was a year before that.
• Kyrie Irving was four years old the last time the Warriors had an All-Star.
• The Warriors last had an All-Star two years before the tragic Columbine shooting.
• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, Tiger Woods had won zero Major tournaments.
• Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa’s pursuit of Roger Maris’ single season home run record happened a year after the last time the Warriors had their last All-Star.
• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, Britney Spears was still a virgin.
• The last time the Warriors had an All-Star, Notorious BIG was still alive.

Maybe next year?

http://www.bayareaball.com/teams/golden-state-warriors/the-last-time-the-warriors-had-an-all-star/

Anonymous asked: How many hits do you get a month?

I think I told JT last weekend 250 per day, but I just checked Google Analytics and it was 13k in December and 15k in January. That comes out to what, 475 per day?

It really just depends how much I post.

$109,756.10

Andris Biedrins’ per game salary: $109,756.10

Andris Biedrins’ production has gotten so bad that I wanted to start a segment called, “What does $109,756.10 buy you?”

For Joe Lacob, last night $109,756.10 bought him 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, 0 blocks, 0 steals, and 5 fouls.

With that money, Lacob could’ve bought every resident of Inglewood, CA a McChicken and still had $83 leftover to throw at strippers.

Anonymous asked: I think it's funny that people are now starting saying the Warriors should blow up their core/tank/etc to keep their pick, rebuild like the Thunder, etc, when you've been beating me over the head with the same thing since last season.

As Bill Simmons would say:

(Nodding)

Have the Giants Done Enough in the Offseason?

Other than a bounce-back season from Pablo Sandoval, things couldn’t have gone much worse for the San Francisco Giants’ offense. Buster Posey missed four months, Freddy Sanchez missed 3.5 months, Pablo Sandoval missed seven weeks, Aubrey Huff, Andres Torres, and Cody Ross were non-factors, and they had Miguel Tejada, Brandon Crawford, and Orlando Cabrera going through the turnstiles at shortstop.

To get an idea of how bad those three actually were offensively, look at their slash lines. Tejada had a slash line of .239/.270/.326. Crawford had a slash line of .204/.288/.296. Cabrera had a line of .222/.241/.270.

Just to summarize, the Giants replaced their Opening Day shortstop who couldn’t hit or field with a guy that couldn’t hit, and then replaced him with another guy who couldn’t hit or field. It shouldn’t come to anybody’s surprise that Orlando Cabrera retired and Miguel Tejada still can’t find a job.

Going into Spring Training this season, there are a few reasons to be optimistic. By all accounts, Buster Posey and Freddy Sanchez are progressing nicely in their rehab. Having those two back in the lineup instantly improves the National League’s worst offense (only Seattle scored fewer runs in all of baseball).

The additions of Melky Cabrera and Angel Pagan also should improve their offense, considering they’re replacing Cody Ross and Andres Torres. Both couldn’t hit their way out of a wet paper bag last season.

After a roller coaster rookie season, Brandon Belt looks poised to have a productive season after playing well this offseason in the Dominican Republic (.300/.395/.470).

But is that enough to win the division? There is no doubt that Buster Posey dramatically improves the offense. One of the reasons he is valuable offensively is because he is an elite hitter relative to other catchers, but he is not Prince Fielder, he is not Jose Bautista, and he is not a savior for this porous offense.

Speaking of Jose Bautista, there is a worse than even money chance that he hits more home runs than the Giants’ starting outfield combined. The Giants’ two big offseason acquisitions, Melky Cabrera and Angel Pagan, now make up two-thirds of a bottom-five outfield in baseball. Can Melky Cabrera have a repeat of 2011? Hell, I think the Giants would take 75% of his 2011. The outfield is improved over last season, but only marginally.

Also, with all three outfield spots essentially locked up, where does Brandon Belt play? If Aubrey Huff is given the first shot at first base to see if he can regain his 2010 form, Belt will be the odd man out. I think the Giants should’ve just offered arbitration to Ramon Ramirez and non-tendered Andres Torres instead of trading for Angel Pagan. They would’ve been able to put Cabrera in center and Belt in left. It would’ve found a way to get the most pop into the lineup as possible, given Belt the stability of an everyday role that he needs, and kept the same bullpen depth as last season.

Meanwhile, the Diamondbacks, who won the NL West in a landslide, have closed the pitching gap with the Giants by acquiring Trevor Cahill, giving them a three-headed monster of Kennedy, Hudson, and Cahill. It isn’t Lincecum, Cain, Bumgarner, and Vogelsong, but with that offense, it might not have to be.

Arizona had the 4^th best offense in the National League last year and they’ve gotten better. Arizona is anticipating the return of Stephen Drew much like the Giants are with Freddy Sanchez. They’ve also added Jason Kubel in left field and have Paul Goldschmidt for a full season.

If you look down the road a bit, Arizona’s farm system is stacked with pitching prospects. Much to the dismay of Giants fans, Trevor Bauer, Archie Bradley, and Tyler Skaggs are coming down the pipes.

With that offense and pitching, and with those prospects in the farm system, it looks like Arizona could be the team with the target on their back in the NL West for the foreseeable future.

http://www.bayareaball.com/teams/san-francisco-giants/have-the-giants-done-enough-in-the-offseason/

Digging for Value: Super Bowl Prop Bets

When the New England Patriots opened at -4, I loved the Giants and the points. Now, at -2.5? I don’t have a clue. Not even a lean. I don’t even have a vested interest really in either team. I’m still bitter about the 49ers loss two weeks ago against the Giants, and I don’t want Tom Brady to tie Joe Montana’s four Super Bowls because Joe and I go way back.

Super Bowl prop bets? Different story. There is money to be made. Wait, wait, hypothetical money (not really), so IRS, go fly a kite.

Tom Brady passing yards OVER 315.5

If the Patriots are winning, it will be because Brady is picking apart the Giants’ defense. If they’re behind, Brady will be throwing the ball to try and bring them back. He didn’t throw for over 5,200 yards and 39 touchdowns because the Patriots are a run-centric team. What am I missing here?

Kelly Clarkson sings the National Anthem UNDER 1:34.00: +130

Kelly Clarkson is an experienced National Anthem singer. Of her eight different anthems on YouTube, her average time was1:31. Her shortest time was 1:26 and her longest was 1:38. The other six times were 1:29, 1:34, 1:32, 1:27, and 1:33. If you take out the longest and shortest anthems, the average time is 1:31.33. That gives under betters approximately a three second “Super Bowl oomph” window.

Here are some notes from beyondthebets.com

• Clarkson’s anthems don’t have a long, extended “brave.” Compared to most anthem singers, it’s actually quite succinct. This is key because I don’t suspect much additional time will be added to the song on that last verse.
• Her “Rockets Red Glare, the bombs bursting in air …” tends to be a bit inconsistent. At the 2000 event and at last year’s NBA Finals, it lasted 11 seconds. At a 2006 Cowboys game, though, it was nine seconds. That’s the shortest of any she’s done.
• Verse I fear the most: “O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave.” In last year’s Finals, the “wave” lasted roughly five seconds, which is concerning. Then again, that was a 1-minute, 27-second version, her shortest of any indoor venue.

This isn’t a slam-dunk, stone cold lock, but at +130? Value galore.

Kelly Clarkson does NOT omit or forget any word: -800

Did I not just mention that Kelly Clarkson has performed the National Anthem at least eight times??? She’s a cagey vet. She’s the Kurt Thomas of National Anthem singers. Take this bet and run. As my cousin would say, “If you don’t take it, it’s like walking by free money.”

Kelly Clarkson does NOT wear an NFL jersey/shirt with a number on it: -350

Let’s just be honest, Kelly Clarkson isn’t good looking enough to pull off a jersey. It’s just too risky. With millions of women watching the Super Bowl, she’s not going to give them an opportunity to say, “Look at that girl trying to look all cute in that jersey (eye roll).”

Okay, I was wrong. I just saw pictures of Kelly Clarkson wearing an Emmitt Smith jersey while singing the National Anthem at a Cowboys game and a Rangers jersey while performing in Arlington. But that’s just it, she’s from Texas. She’s a fan of Texas teams. The Giants and Patriots do not play in Texas. Boom. Added value. Size up.

Color of drink poured on winning coach: Water/clear +140

Look at all of the pictures from previous Patriots and Giants Super Bowl victories. What do you see? Clear. Don’t overthink this one. Don’t get caught up in the big payout.

Aaaand for you degenerates, unlike myself, I lean tails on the coin toss.

http://www.bayareaball.com/latest-articles/digging-for-value-super-bowl-prop-bets/